3 November 2012

The Oxymoron

A colleague of mine looked worried the other day. He was distressed and was visibly agitated. He appeared emotionally battered. I was concerned. He is my friend so I asked him "What is wrong? Can I help?"

"It is my girlfriend" he confessed.

"Our relationship has gone stale".

"Shit!" I thought. Relationships. Matters of the heart. I am most unqualified in dealing with such issues. 

I suck. 

So I had a moment of instant regret and I immediately wished to detract the offer of assistance. I need not have worried though. He had a solution.

"I need to practice my spontaneity" he said.

He was earnest. He was serious. He was fair dinkum. It was brilliant. 

It was doomed for failure but I loved it.

Singapore is the land of the oxymoron. Many are imported. There are plenty and I hear them all the time. I need to write them down. As a lover of words they light my fire. 

They rock my boat. 

"This is very unique" - or this is "quite unique" is a beauty. It is thrown my way often. 

I gobble it up. 

I devour it. 

Many of these classics are American. The brutalizers of the English language. "Good Grief". "Jumbo Shrimp". "Plastic Glasses". "Alone Together". "Found Missing". "Peace Forces". "Whopper Junior". "Slave Wages". "Random Order". "Organized Chaos". "African American". "Pretty Ugly"

I could offer up some more. 

Many more. 

I could go on and on in fact however I am distracted now by the thought of my friend practicing his spontaneity. In front of a full length mirror. 

Doing Genuine Imitations. 

While I Silently Scream.

1 comment :

  1. This is very clever and very funny. Bravo peterheppo