There has been
a development on the mandarin fruits front. It has become somewhat of a
debacle. I arrived home yesterday to find that large signs had been placed on
each of the ceremonial mandarin bushes. They said "NOT FOR EATING
!!!!" Yes there were four ‘!’ marks. The dopey and normally sleeping
security guard was on full alert as I walked up the drive and he followed me
through to the lobby. When I paused to examine the bushes he looked very
anxious and he appeared equally relieved when I walked on to the lift.
As I opened my
apartment door I found an envelope with my name hand written on it. The letter
inside was typed. It said: "Mr. Peter Charles you are required to meet
with the Building Management. Please ring the office to make an
appointment".
I rang
straight away and I spoke to a Mr. Tan. We arranged to meet the following
morning at 9.00am - in the Building Management Office. I told Mr. Tan that I
was looking forward to it but he did not seem so enthusiastic.
At 9.00am on
the dot this morning I presented myself to the office. A very stern looking Mr.
Tan was there along with two other people. Both were women who I had never laid
eyes on before. Mr. Tan introduced me to the women but I don't recall their
names. I did however recognize the voice of one of them. Two days ago it had
been shrieking down a telephone at me, "Oranges eat cannot".
Over and over again. Neither women looked very happy. I shook hands with all of
them and suggested that we take a seat.
Mr. Tan said
to me, "You have been seen to be eating the fruits in the lobby"
I said
nothing. No question was involved so I thought it best to remain silent for the
moment and see where this was going.
Shrieking
women added, "You have eaten the fruits".
She said this
without shrieking.
Again - there
seemed to be no question yet so I continued not to comment. I merely smiled and
nodded in agreement. There was an awkward pause. We all looked at each other.
Sensing something further needed to be said, Mr. Tan advised, "The
fruits are not to be eaten"
"Why
is this Mr. Tan?" I enquired.
"Is
this not like telling the tenants of this building that the pool is here but it
is not for swimming? Or that the gym is there but cannot be used for exercise?
What is the rationale of putting a fruit tree in the lobby yet no one can eat
the fruits?"
Mr. Tan looked
confused and shrieking woman looked angry. I suspect that she is always angry.
The other woman just looked terrified. Despite the direct questions
there was no effort made by any of the three to answer my questions.
"The
fruits are not to be eaten" Mr. Tan repeated.
"OK" I replied.
"Point
taken. So these fruits can never been taken?
"Never." responded Mr. Tan.
He appeared
very adamant.
"So
how much do these Mandarin tress cost? I enquired.
There was some
brief jabbering between Mr. Tan and the Shrieking woman. In Hokkien. Mr. Tan
then advised, "Manadarin shrubs are $100 each"
'OK" I
said and I
pulled out $200 from my wallet and put it on the desk.
"So
these trees are now mine." I declared.
In a lightning
blur of movement Mr. Tan grabbed up the cash and stuffed the notes into his
trouser pockets.
"So I
can now eat the fruits whenever I want?" I enquired of Mr. Tan
"Can" replied Mr. Tan.
He was beaming
now but the Shrieking woman looked even more angry.
"Good
one" I
responded.
"Splendid"
Then I stood up and left.
On the way
back up to my apartment I removed the "Not
for eating!!!!" signs. When I returned an hour so later I stuck up my
own hand written versions that said "Eat Me"
Between now
and the end of next week I intend on devouring the lot of them.
Perhaps I
shall also make some mandarin jam.
Laughed out loud! Very very funny! Just goes to show everything has it's price. But are your neighbors allowed to eat them too or does the sign say only to b eaten by one Peter Hep? Moo
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