Once again I
have been outwitted. Less than 24 hours after taking possession of my
condominium's mandarin bushes, not a single fruit remains on either shrub. Both
"EAT ME" signs have also been removed. Now I am talking well in
excess of 300 fruits. I arrived home yesterday to discover this. The once
glorious and heavily laden Mandarin Orange trees now look very sad without
their golden fruits.
I am a little sad myself.
I marched down
to the security control room to see if the dopey guard knew anything of their
disappearance. Unsurprisingly he was dozing. I took some small joy in rapping
on the window and seeing him jerk awake. He nearly fell out of his chair.
Rubbing sleep out of his eyes he quickly recognized who I was and instead of
the normal stare of anxiety that I was now accustomed to - his narrow little
lips curled up in a self contented smirk.
"Who
has taken all my fruits?" I enquired
"They
have been eaten" he responded. I could hear some smugness in his voice
"Who
has eaten them?" I demanded
The fucker
shrugged his shoulders in reply. He was still smirking. I could see that his
little belly was swollen with what I suspected were copious amounts of mandarin
oranges.
"Ok"
I smiled and then I walked away.
I could tell
that my smile had disarmed him a little as his smirk had disappeared and a
furrow of worry appeared on his brow.
This was my
own fault. I should have anticipated such an act.
With the
coming of the Chinese New Year it is customary for people to give Red Packets -
known locally as Ang Pow - to one's Helpers. These are envelopes containing
cash and are an expression of appreciation for people less well off than
oneself. I have always given Ang Pows to my cleaner, the gardeners and the
security guards at my complex.
The amount of
money given in each Ang Pow depends on the relationship between the giving and
receiving parties - and their social standing. The amount of money given
must always be an even number though. Amounts ending with 8 are very popular.
The number 8 is important in Chinese culture as it symbolizes both prosperity
and luck. In Singapore the most popular amounts given in an Ang Pow are $18,
$68, $168, and $888.
I normally
give $68.
An amount that
ends or includes the number 4 is usually avoided in Ang Pows. The word for the number
4 in Mandarin - and in fact most of the Chinese dialects - is very similar to
the word for death, so the worse amount to give in a red packet is $44. It is
very bad luck.
Guess what
dopey is getting this year?
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