15 February 2014

Valentine's Day

Unlike the confectioners and florists of the world – I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Its origins are barbaric. Valentine was a Roman Christian priest who lived and died under the reign of Emperor Claudius the Second. The Emperor was somewhat deranged and he forbade soldiers in his army to marry. Valentine defied the emperor and married quite a few. The dude got busted and was arrested, tried and executed. They cut off his head.

He was martyred.

In the fourteenth century the English writer Chaucer set the whole thing alight by writing a poem called “Valentine” which established the association with love and flowers and hearts and turtledoves. The public loved it.

They really did.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not against the concept of love. It is a many splendored thing. But what about the single and lonely people? What about the fat chicks? In years gone by I have witnessed the despair of some people in my office when the wives and girlfriends sitting near them receive their flowers and chocolates and teddy bears. There is a sadness for those that don’t have love that doesn’t seem quite fair.

Yesterday I bought a big box of heart shaped chocolates and I got up very early this morning and put a couple of them on each of the fat chicks desks. Then I went home and came in late. It pleased me that the fat chicks didn’t scoff them down but they proudly displayed them on their desks and they didn’t seem so despondent when the roses and stuff arrived for the girls with boyfriends and husbands.

I got my normal box of chocolates with a card from a ‘secret admirer’. Thanks Mum – I know it’s you and you really don’t have to.

Yep I am not a big fan of Valentines Day. They chopped a priest’s head off for fuck’s sake.

And shouldn’t every day be a declaration of love? 

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