7 May 2013


I copped it every which way this morning - from the English with whom I work. I copped it about my erotic blog post yesterday. They served it right up to me. Fortunately I have very little regard for the opinions of the English and I told them that it was just a trial writing of porn and I challenged them to write better. I also said that no-one actually knows my real name either in my blog and that if I were to ever write porn I would also do so under a pseudonym. I think the name Rod Steele would be appropriate.

My mate Berty in Las Vegas wrote to me to tell me that he didn't like the article. 

He has always been a bit of a prude has Berty - and the article was written for women.

I was very surprised when I got home from work to see how many people had read the article "Risqué". I am always quite surprised at how many people read what I write anyway but the "Risqué" post has gone a bit viral. I have this counter thing that shows me how many people read my blog and it even tells me where they come from. The post seems to have attracted the interest of Russians, Germans and Canadians and a couple of hundred of people are reading it at the moment. They must like porn. 

It is bizarre.

We had quite a lively discussion at work this morning - between myself and the English with whom I work. They continued to take the piss out of my porn blog and they then started a commentary on what I wrote on a previous occasion. This time referring to how I bowled over a group of nuns on my bicycle. Last weekend. It gave rise to how one refers to a collection of nuns. In my article I referred to them as a gaggle but this apparently relates to geese. One of the less unintelligent Englishman named Shents informed me that a collection of nuns is actually referred to as a superfluity. He was right. I looked it up. 

For fuck sake. 

A  number of collectives relate to animals. As I have already mentioned a gaggle refers to geese. A flock relates to birds although there is a bit of a variation according to the type of bird. A group of crows is referred to as a murder. There is a clutch of chicks, a stand of flamingo and a dole of doves. There is also a word of mallards, a rafter of turkeys, a plump of waterfowl and a watch of nightingales.

I kid you not.

There are some common and well known ones like a school of fish, a round of drinks and a pack of hounds - but there also some interesting and amusing ones out there.  Ferrets are a business and there is a piddle of puppies. Foxes are a skulk and there are a knot of toads. There is a phalanx of umbrellas, a gam of whales, a mass of priests, a tilt of windmills and a yoke of oxen. 

There are some good descriptive ones too that I like very much such as an abandonment of orphans, an addition of mathematicians, a billow of smokers, a blush of embarrassments  and an incision of surgeons.

An incision of surgeons!


There is also a drift of swine which interestingly can also be applied to a group of the English.

Collectives are defined for races and nationalities. A drift of English - I quite like that and they can also be referred to as a tosser of English. The collective for Australians is a legend and it is a can for Singaporeans. There is also a wanker of Americans and a fucre of French.

When we were wondering what a collective for Bankers might be a rather demure Singaporean piped in and suggested that it might be a bunch of fishers. This is my substitute word for fuckers that I am using to try and reduce my swearing in the office. 

We all laughed.

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