I copped it
every which way this morning - from the English with whom I work. I copped it about
my erotic blog post yesterday. They served it right up to me. Fortunately I
have very little regard for the opinions of the English and I told them that it
was just a trial writing of porn and I challenged them to write better. I also
said that no-one actually knows my real name either in my blog and that if I
were to ever write porn I would also do so under a pseudonym. I think the name
Rod Steele would be appropriate.
My mate Berty
in Las Vegas wrote to me to tell me that he didn't like the article.
He has always
been a bit of a prude has Berty - and the article was written for women.
I was very
surprised when I got home from work to see how many people had read the article
"Risqué". I am always quite surprised at how many people read what I
write anyway but the "Risqué" post has gone a bit viral. I have this
counter thing that shows me how many people read my blog and it even tells me
where they come from. The post seems to have attracted the interest of
Russians, Germans and Canadians and a couple of hundred of people are reading
it at the moment. They must like porn.
It is bizarre.
We had quite a
lively discussion at work this morning - between myself and the English with
whom I work. They continued to take the piss out of my porn blog and they then
started a commentary on what I wrote on a previous occasion. This time
referring to how I bowled over a group of nuns on my bicycle. Last weekend. It
gave rise to how one refers to a collection of nuns. In my article I referred
to them as a gaggle but this apparently relates to geese. One of the less
unintelligent Englishman named Shents informed me that a collection of nuns is
actually referred to as a superfluity. He was right. I looked it up.
For fuck
sake.
A
number of collectives relate to animals. As I have already mentioned a gaggle
refers to geese. A flock relates to birds although there is a bit of a
variation according to the type of bird. A group of crows is referred to as a
murder. There is a clutch of chicks, a stand of flamingo and a dole of doves.
There is also a word of mallards, a rafter of turkeys, a plump of waterfowl and
a watch of nightingales.
I
kid you not.
There
are some common and well known ones like a school of fish, a round of drinks
and a pack of hounds - but there also some interesting and amusing ones out
there. Ferrets are a business and there is a piddle of puppies. Foxes are
a skulk and there are a knot of toads. There is a phalanx of umbrellas, a gam
of whales, a mass of priests, a tilt of windmills and a yoke of oxen.
There
are some good descriptive ones too that I like very much such as an abandonment
of orphans, an addition of mathematicians, a billow of smokers, a blush of
embarrassments and an incision of surgeons.
An
incision of surgeons!
Classic.
There
is also a drift of swine which interestingly can also be applied to a group of
the English.
Collectives
are defined for races and nationalities. A drift of English - I quite like that
and they can also be referred to as a tosser of English. The collective for
Australians is a legend and it is a can for Singaporeans. There is also a
wanker of Americans and a fucre of French.
When
we were wondering what a collective for Bankers might be a rather demure
Singaporean piped in and suggested that it might be a bunch of fishers. This is
my substitute word for fuckers that I am using to try and reduce my swearing in
the office.
We all laughed.
No comments :
Post a Comment