Right. I decided today there was not enough fun in my life anymore. It's all a bit too serious. I needed to get me some. Fun that is.
OK. I better decide what that is first.
Get it clear in my mind.
This fun thing.
It was a bit easier when I was a child. It was far more simple. Fun mostly involved play. It was riding my bike around and climbing trees. Fun was catching and pulling insects apart. It was locking my little brother up in a cupboard or stuffing him in a box. It was occasionally setting him on fire. Fun was pulling the heads off my sisters Barbie dolls.
Fun was cruelty.
Was I that bad?
When I was a teenager and a young adult fun was all about wagging school. It was playing truant. With the benefit of hindsight - school was actually fun too. We of course didn't think so at the time but it definitely was.
Does anyone remember the school shelter sheds? Perhaps they were uniquely Australian structures. They were buildings located at the bottom of the school oval. I am not sure what they offered shelter from but it was behind these sheds that cigarettes were sneaked. It was where boys met girls to grab moments of adolescent passion. It was mostly kissing and groping. We Australians called it 'pashing'. The English refer to it as 'snogging'. There was always a lookout for teachers. They were the ruination of fun. It was their job. They were paid for it. Occasionally behind the shelter shed fights occurred. Excited kids surrounded the combatants and yelled "Fight. Fight. Fight." These fights were mostly over girls.
Fun in those days was very much focused on chasing girls - for we boys that is. It was hanging out with your mates and chasing girls. Fun was sex or at least the pursuit of it. Talking about it. Bragging. Mostly lies. Fun was being carefree. It was chasing girls and sex – or at least the pursuit of it.
So now I am all grown up. I am overgrown in fact. I am probably closer to death than birth. The scales have tipped. That's scary. What the fuck is fun now? I rode my bike the other day. It certainly wasn't fun as it very nearly killed me. The Singaporean motorist has no respect for cyclists and they have little awareness either. It was a near suicide mission and I was lucky to escape with my life. And I didn't do it for fun either - I did it for exercise. Climbing trees? I think that is illegal here in Singapore. Many things are. Possibly fun itself is prohibited or restricted. It often seems to be. I will have to check the Constitution.
My brother is no longer smaller than me. He is a man mountain. He works out in the gym every day but I don't think that he has fun doing this exercise. He is just quite vain. He is body conscious. This has always been the case. Anyway locking him in a cupboard would be difficult and setting him on fire would be impossible. It wouldn't be fun either any more.
I love him dearly.
So chasing girls then? This is not so easy anymore and not so desirable either. They run much faster than me and I am no longer young. Nor attractive. The chase would weary me and I would inevitably be disappointed. Sex? I have a vague memory of this act and I do recall that it was fun. For me anyway. In a messy sort of a way. I am sure that I am probably better at it now than I was as a youth but the act of sex as a mature adult includes complex attachments and expectations.
The heat disappears as we age and passion fades away. It is still very messy but in a much different sort of way. Not fun in the long run.
Not fun at all.
So I best dive into my books again and get a bit of assistance on this fun thing. Snoop Dogg writes,
“It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none.”
What the fuck Dogg? Your lyrics often mystify me but I like your music.
Rap on brother.
The American novelist Alysson Noel wrote in her work 'Evermore" that,
“Rules should always be bent, if not broken. It's the only way to have any fun.”.
Right. That might be a path to follow. There are many rules here in Singapore and I don't mind breaking them. Well some of them anyway. I have never really had any problem breaking rules and I was often in trouble. I sometimes still am. I best not get caught though. I need to be mindful of the consequences. Some of those might not be so much fun.
Not here in Singapore.
Derek Landy is an Irish writer. He mostly writes children's books but I have always enjoyed them. He wrote,
“Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.”.
This seems to be a similar theme to Noel's so we might be onto something here. The Taiwanese-American author Justina Chen Headley - who won the 2007 Asian Pacific Prize for Literature – wrote,
"Safe I decided, didn't leave much room for fun.”
Danger might be the way to go then. This might be the source of the fun that is eluding me. So I think I might go and climb that tree after all.
Fuck the consequences.